Taking Control
by GothChickSupremo
Summary: When a strange voice inside the detective's head tells her to go after her ex-partner, she decides to listen. Olivia Margaret Benson is taking control. Set six months after the episode 'Smoked'. Rated M for language and adult situations in later chapters.
1. I

At first, I had hope.

Hope that he would come back.

Hope that he would pick up the phone.

Hope that he would confide in me, allow me to help him the way I so desperately need to.

Because if I'm not helping someone get over their pain, I'm trapped in a box with only my own agony to keep me company. I've been able to avoid focusing on my problems for most of my life, since I had to practically be a mother to my mom and I was able to direct my attention to my partner and his crumbling marriage when she was gone. Hell, my entire job focuses on helping other people heal and maybe, just maybe, that's the real reason I volunteered for SVU.

But ever since my partner vanished, I haven't been able to ignore the stabbing sensation inside of my chest, even when I'm at work. So everyday, I come home to my empty apartment that I've grown to loathe, and I call him. Once, twice, sometimes even three times. There are times when my pain is so unbearable that I drown myself in wine while calling him. Practically sobbing into the phone like some pathetic mistress who thought her lover would leave his wife for her, only to find out that she meant absolutely nothing to him.

Though, if you really think about it, that's almost exactly what this is. He stays by my side for over a decade, telling me that he cares, that I could talk to him whenever something was wrong. And then he just ditches me, like I mean absolutely nothing to him...

 _No, dumbass, he did fucking care about you_. _He was your best friend!_

No, he... He couldn't have... He left me, without so much as a goodbye! That's not something best friends do.

 _Are you high or something Benson? That man would've done anything for you, and you're sitting here bashing on him because you can't handle being alone. Shame on you._

Well what am I supposed to do? I've called, emailed, written... I've even gone over there, just so his wife could tell me to fuck off!

 _Since when did Kathy fucking Stabler become the boss of you? You're badass Benson! If you want to talk to your partner, you can talk to your partner._

You're right, I know you're right but... He shot a child! I can't just go in there, guns blazing, demanding that he speak to me!

 _Well it's been six months, so he obviously isn't going to reach out to you. But he needs you, no matter how much either of you denies it, so you have to go to him. You have to get him through this._

"Okay... Jesus, I really need to get out more, I'm talking to a voice in my fucking head." I mutter to myself as the voice retreats, leaving me to my own devices. I decide that, however crazy it may sound, the strange voice is right. I'm going to speak to my partner, and I'll take down anyone who gets on my way.

My eyes flicker to the digital clock located on my car radio, reading that it's exactly eight pm. I sigh, feeling the nervous energy starting to build up inside of my as I turn to look at the house across the street, that of which my ex partner resides in. My gaze moves to the dark driveway and I'm surprised to see that Elliot's car is no where to be found, though Kathy's silver sedan remains.

He's not here...

 _Well maybe he moved, idiot._

Why are you back? I don't need your help!

 _Uh, yes you do! It was my idea to come here in the first place!_

Whatever. Just go away, I can do this on my own.

 _Oh really? Then why have you been sitting in your car for the past ten minutes?_

Because I need to figure out what to say, I can't go in there without a plan!

 _Plan? You don't need a plan, just ask that bitch where your partner is and if she refuses, pop her in the mouth!_

Hey, she isn't a bitch, she's actually pretty nice. I overreacted earlier when I said she told me to fuck off.

 _I don't care, get your ass out of the car, and get in there. NOW BENSON!_

"Okay, fine!" I mutter, inwardly slapping myself for once again responding to the voice.

"Dammit, i'm turning into a basket case."

My hand reaches for the car door handle, shoving it open and shutting it just as quickly once I step onto the pavement. I straighten out my blazer before making my way across the street, confidence slowly replacing my nervousness as I get closer to the door. By the time I've reached the front of the house, my hands have clenched into fists and I raise one of them, bringing it down against the door with no guilt for disturbing the quiet peace inside. I hear shuffling on the other side and a few seconds later I hear the sound of a lock clicking. Being fully prepared to go off on Kathy Stabler, I'm naturally surprised when I'm met instead with a very confused looking Dickie Stabler.

"Olivia? What're you doing here?" He asks quietly, most likely because he actually cares about waking up the other people in the house. The confidence and rage that I had spent the last minute building up suddenly dissipates, leaving me with only the sadness I've become so accustomed to over the last six months.

"Dickie I... I came here to talk to your mom." I say softly, staring into the young boy's bright blue eyes. _Just like his father's_. He sighs, pushing his fingers through his dark hair as he glances back at the staircase, returning his gaze to me. He looks sad and it worries me.

"Mom is sleeping, but... She isn't really doing so hot right now... Dads been different since he left the job and, well, he left two weeks ago." He explains quietly, staring down at his bare feet once he's finished. My heart tightens in my chest when I notice the unshed tears in his eyes and I gently place a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look back at me.

"I'm so sorry honey, but I know that your dad won't stop loving you just because he doesn't live here anymore. You'll still be able to see him and call him-" I'm unexpectedly cut off by his words and, though they're spoken in a soft voice, they stab me directly in the heart.

"No, no he'll probably ignore us, just like he ignores you... I've heard him listening to your voicemails, but instead of calling you back he would just sit there, with this look in his eyes like... Like nothing was there, you know?" He's crying now, furiously wiping at the tears though they're quickly replaced by new ones. I find myself wanting to cry as well but I can't, not when he needs me to be strong. So I pull him into my arms, allowing him to sob into my shoulder whilst wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Shhh... It's gonna be okay, sweetheart, I promise you... Everything will be okay." I whisper to him while running circles on his back to comfort him, which seems to work after a short while. He pulls away from me, sniffling as he wipes away the remnants of his tears and releases a shaky breath.

"Dickie, I want to talk to your dad and get him help, so please... Can you tell me where he is?" I ask, and he nods, straightening himself out before answering.

"He moved into a cabin up in the Catskills, said he needed to be alone for awhile... I think mom has the address somewhere..." He turns to the table located beside the door, shuffling through the bills and letters littering it before holding up a slip of paper. I give him a watery smile, taking the paper from him and looking down at it.

"Thank you Dickie, this... This is gonna help us, all of us." I say as I look to him and he smiles, wrapping his arms around me in one last tight hug before he pulls back, staring directly into my eyes.

"Just tell him that we love him and that we miss him." He murmurs while stepping back, giving me a small smile before shutting the door.

I stare down at the paper once I'm sitting inside of my car and I grab my phone, opening up the GPS app after deciding that I have to do this tonight.

* * *

 **Will Olivia be able to get Elliot to talk to her? Can she convince him to come back to the city with her? And will the voice ever go away?**

 **Tell me what you think!**


	2. II

_The Catskills? Seriously, he couldn't have moved to somewhere less creepy to drive through like, I don't know... Long Island?_

Elliot doesn't really strike me as a Long Island kind of guy... And besides, driving up here isn't _that_ terrible...

 _Oh really? Because you almost drove us off the edge of this huge ass rock several times._

I roll my eyes at the voice, deciding to ignore it for now instead of letting my mind keep me company. According to the GPS, I'm about five minutes away from my partner's- ex partner's new house. It's been a long time since I've seen a building that isn't a rundown gas station or a creepy motel, and I'm honestly quite thrilled to be seeing something familiar... Though I suppose it's possible he could have changed over the past few months, he moved to the fucking mountains after all!

"Turn right in one hundred meters."

I take a quick look at my phone after it speaks, anxiety suddenly taking over me when I see there are only two minutes left and... I have no idea what to say to him.

 _When he opens the door, you should just kiss him._

WHAT?! No no no, you don't seem to understand Voice, Elliot and I... It's complicated.

 _First of all, my name is Morgan, second of all... Decomplicate it!_

I don't think that's a word-

 _Yes it is, I just made it a word._

But-

"Turn right."

I quickly jerk the steering wheel to the side, narrowly missing a tree. I shake my head at myself as I straighten myself and the car out, taking in a deep breath and exhaling it to calm my nerves. There's a light shining through the shrubbery straight ahead and it appears to be coming from a window. _Oh god_ , he's awake. Apart of me was actually hoping he wouldn't be, so that I could just avoid this whole confrontation all together. But I've already come this far, I might as well just get it over with. The car rolls to a stop in front of the cabin that Elliot Stabler now resides in and I take a moment to examine the structure- it's perfect for housing one person, small but not agonizingly so. It looks to be constructed mostly of wood and if I hadn't know that Elliot didn't build the place himself, I probably would've thought he did.

 _Benson, you're not an architect. Get your ass out of this car and go to him!_

"Alright, alright." I mutter as I remove myself from the vehicle, slamming the door shut and making my way towards the stairs leading up to the door. With every step I take I can feel my heart rate escalating and by the time I've reached the front door, I'm shaking. My trembling fingers curl into a fist and I raise it, lightly bringing it down against the door three times before taking a step back. There's shuffling from the other side and I can see shadows through the crack at the bottom of the door, each movement merely augmenting my anxiety. And then there's the clicking of a lock and all of a sudden, he's standing directly in front of me. I almost couldn't recognize him at first, seeing that his new look consists of a buzz cut and a greying beard, but when I look into his eyes I know that this is the right place.

"Olivia?"

I stare into his eyes, which seemed to have darkened since his departure, and the words that the voice spoke earlier echo through my head- _kiss him_. The world seems to freeze in that instant and I barely register my own movements. All I know is that my arms are around his neck, my body is pressed against his, and my lips are touching his. Almost as soon as I feel his warmth I'm overtaken with a sense of cold, my veins pulsing with dread upon realizing that he's pushed me away.

"What are you... Olivia, what the hell?!" His voice is filled with unexpected rage, his hands still clasping my shoulders in a vice grip. My body instantly goes rigid as I try to comprehend what I just did, my wide eyes staring up at him and my mouth opening and closing several times without making a sound.

"I- Elliot I'm sorry I just-"

" _Sorry_? Jesus Olivia... How the hell did you even get here?"

"Dickie gave me your new address."

"Oh my god, you interrogated my son? Have you lost your mind?"

 _Yes._

Shut up!

"No, El I just... I just needed to see you." I can feel the familiar burning sensation consuming my features, starting at my nose and quickly making its way to the back of my eyes. How could he possibly not understand how much I need him? How could he not see that not allowing me to help him- shutting me out- is by far the worst possible thing he could've done to me?

"Well I think you've seen enough. Go away Olivia!" He releases my shoulders, moving to slam the door shut but I'm faster, managing to wedge myself in the doorway.

 _How do you know he won't just shut you in the door?_

I thought you were here to give me moral support...

"Seriously Benson? Get out of the fucking way!" His voice raises significantly, showing that his fuse it short and that I'm currently playing with fire. I stand my ground though, keeping myself firmly planted in the same spot and staring up at him defiantly.

"No. I'm not leaving until you talk to me, Elliot. The only thing I wanted was for you to let me help but instead, you ditched me. I just want you to tell me why."

" _Why_? Alright Olivia, I'll tell you why. I was tired of sitting there every single day, listening to people describe the most horrible events of their lives. I was tired of hanging around with you and the squad, investing my heart and soul into solving each and every one of those cases. I couldn't stand loosing a piece of myself each time... I couldn't stand watching you do the same. That job is _torture_ , Olivia. And it took me killing a kid to realize that..." He takes in a deep breath, his eyes turning downwards, "I wanted to make you understand it too, but I knew you wouldn't- I knew you _couldn't_. I knew that if I went to you you'd just try to stop me and I knew that I would change my mind... That I'd go back, for you." Elliot whispers the last few words, so silently that you almost couldn't hear him.

"I don't... I don't understand... Why would you come back for _me_?" I ask, leaning closer to him in an attempt to capture his gaze. His eyes flick upwards and he stares at me, looking as if he though I was crazy.

"Really, Olivia? How could you not know how much I-I..."

"You...?"

"How much I fucking love you!"

* * *

 _ **Say whaaattt?**_

 **Elliot loves Olivia, Olivia is confused and the voice is named Morgan... Sounds like a basic EO fic to me.**

 **Oh yea, tell me what you think!**


	3. III

**Yes, if you haven't figured it out yet, Morgan is Morgan Freeman... you're welcome.**

* * *

"How much I fucking love you!"

 _Man, I saw that coming from a mile away._

"Elliot, I... I don't under-"

His lips are suddenly pressed against mine, his tongue prodding and his teeth nipping at the tender flesh. I stand completely still, a part of me tempted to give in whilst another part is wanting me to pull away, like he did only minutes ago.

 _Do it, Benson! Kiss the man!_

Stay out of this Morgan!

I roll my eyes internally, though I still decide to listen to the voice once again. I open my mouth partly, allowing Elliot's tongue to penetrate further whilst his arms wrap around me, pulling my body closer to his. A shiver runs up my back at the feeling of his hands on me and I know that there's no possible way I could further deny him, so I kiss him back with equal fervor.

"Oh god Olivia, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Elliot whispers after pulling away for some much needed oxygen.

"Yes I do, Elliot. I've wanted to do the same thing ever since I first laid eyes on you." I counter softly, dropping small, sensual kisses against the skin of his neck.

 _Do we have to do all the romantic stuff or can you guys just get it on already?_

Hey, slow down there. It's our first time!

 _And? I know for a fact that this isn't your first time at the rodeo._

WHAT?! How long have you been in there?

 _Uh, let's just say I remember that time when you made out with your Breakfast Club poster..._

"Liv?"

I snap back into reality when I hear him call my name, turning my head upwards to look into his eyes. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking..." I bite down on my lower lip, hating to see the ever growing worry in his baby blues.

"I love you too, El." I say before pulling him into another passionate, more languid kiss. I press my forehead against his the next time we break apart, nuzzling his nose with my own, "I've loved you for as long as I've known you. When I first looked into your eyes... I just knew," I whisper against his soft lips, a smile lighting up my features, "I've been waiting for you for so long Elliot. There were so many times when I just wanted to forget about everything keeping us apart and-" his mouth is on mine once more, capturing the unspoken words as his tongue slides between my lips, a moan slipping from my throat.

"Liv," he breaths out my name through gritted teeth and moves his mouth to press against my ear, "I swear that I want to hear everything you're trying to say, but I really need you right now so... could you please just _shut up_?"

"Wow... that was... wow." I gasp, relishing in the small bursts of pleasure that course throughout my body at the feeling of his calloused hands against my bare skin.

"Couldn't have said it any better myself." He speaks softly and I turn my head, finally looking at him for the first time since we'd landed in his bed together. He's smiling that gorgeous smile of his, and I feel somewhat overwhelmed by the love shining within his eyes.

He loves me. Oh god, Elliot Stabler fucking loves me...

 _Yea, we know jelly head, he's only said it like five hundred times. By the way, you're really loud when you-_

"I want you, Elliot." I whisper, effectively cutting Morgan off. His smile twists into a smirk and his eyebrows furrow, expressing his confusion.

"Uh, Liv, I dunno if you were paying attention but you just had me-"

"No, El. I _want_ you, in every way that a person could want another person. I want to be with you, every single day. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep next to you every night. I want you to be there for me, but more than anything I want to be there for you. Please, Elliot... tell me you want me too?" I know I sound desperate, but god dammit I am desperate! I need to know that there's something here, something that we could build on and make a life out of. He says that he loves me, and I do truly believe that he does, but love is nothing without commitment.

 _Damn Benson, you're getting real deep right now... I thought this story was supposed to be funny, when'd it get so serious?_

Stop breaking the fourth wall Morgan!

 _Okay okay, I'm sorry, proceed with your basic ass Bensler fic..._

"Olivia Margaret Benson, I don't want you... I _need_ you. In every way that a person could _need_ another person." My heart picks up speed so suddenly that I'm sure I'll pass out at that very moment.

He needs me.

 _He_ needs _me_.

"Stay here with me tonight, Liv. Don't think about tomorrow, or the future. We can figure that out all later, and I promise you we will, but tonight... let's just be together, without any of the complication of the real world." He doesn't wait for me to answer and instead leans forwards, pressing his lips against my own. I respond immediately, opening my mouth to allow his tongue entrance and to signify that I'll definitely be staying.

 _Alright, alright, I think you kids have seen enough. We all already know what happens next: Olivia and Elliot get married, they have 2.5 children and live in the suburbs with their dog named Lassie. Now that that's done with, maybe the moron who wrote this can go write a real story..._

* * *

 **Man, Morgan is just dumping on everyone...**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this silly little fic, because I sure enjoyed writing it! Favorites and reviews aren't mandatory, but they are definitely appreciated ;)**


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